Let’s be honest here. Trapped in our houses with nothing but work to do has us running the proverbial tread on our proverbial work shoes down. From time to time, it’s important to remember to procrastinate. Give your brain that much needed snoozefest. Why do you think Tiger King has gained so much popularity? We need the calorie-filled junk food our brains love so much as a reprieve from the oatmeal and kale salad we’ve been giving it non-stop. We’re at home, for goodness’ sake! The place our sweet, innocent brains have come to regard as a safe haven. And now we’re working here?? Rude. Procrastination is our peace offering; the carrot to motivate our brains to comply with the stick that work-from-home life presents.
The key to good procrastination is to do something which feels absolutely nothing like work and also has little to no relevance to making yourself a better person. It’s empty, purposeless, necessary work. Something that uses only the basest levels of your brain function so that the rest of your brain is free to frolic in those peaceful fields your therapist keeps talking about.
The cornerstone for procrastinating better is to completely empty your mind. Ironically, I find that the best way to empty your mind is to fill it — with meaningless drivel. Meaningless drivel could be mindless television or scrolling on social media. It takes up room but no energy. The lights are on, yes, but no one is home.
From there, it’s easy to escalate your procrastination levels by simply falling asleep. Sleep is a great time waster. You might not even be tired, but if your brain is sufficiently relaxed, it’ll let you drift off. Then you can wake up however long from now and say “Well, guess I can’t do X thing right now. Maybe later.” See what I mean?
The final component of good procrastination is to absolve yourself of any and all guilt around whatever task you’re procrastinating. Putting off doing laundry? Don’t feel bad, you’re actually just being eco-friendly by using less water. Putting off reading a book you keep getting recommended? You’re savoring the book by making it last longer. Use all the extra free time you have now to come up with positive reasons you should keep on keeping on doing absolutely nothing, and then you’re well on your way to doing absolutely nothing at all, ever!
Folks, in our productivity-driven world, it’s critical to remember to take time for yourself — even if it’s to put off doing something you should have done days ago. Live outside the system. Unchain yourself from your everyday routine and become one with your couch.
